Unimaginable Peace

In this Guest Post, Ollie Lansdown, who lives with an underlying health condition, shares about the peace he has in these uncertain times.


What if my wellbeing didn’t depend on me?

Grace: is a word that means peace doesn’t depend on you. You can keep throwing yourself at him. He won’t let go.

Objective: peace of mind, because there is a hope that’s stronger than you

Here’s my thesis: I want to convince you that the Gospel of Jesus uniquely has the resources to offer that, both now and in the future. Echoing the times, part of what I write here are pretty bleak. The reason for that, is because if wellbeing means anything, it means finding a pathway towards wellness and peace from within the reality of the real world. It means not denying the world as it is, or the possibility of a pathway to wellbeing.

Let me ask you a question: where do you find peace of mind?

To me, peace of mind is the 20th December. The day where I’m in charge. The day where noone can tell me what to do. My birthday. Something you should know about me: in the deepest, most definitive parts of who I am, I am a massive introvert. Also, I’m really quite lazy. Katie, my wife, less so. For those of you who know about the Myers Briggs personality test, her four letters are EEEE.

I could take the day off if you want?

Said Katie, the extrovert who enjoys the company of other people.

Nah don’t worry about it, there’s no need

Said I, the introvert who's triggered by social situations and small talk.

It’s really no problem

Said she, with love in her eyes

I would prefer to be alone

Said I, eyes full of fear.

Eventually she gave in, because she’s weak and cares about what other people think.

That birthday, I had the time of my young life. I woke up, and no-one had any expectations of me. I went to a coffee shop, and just sat by myself, alone, doing nothing, without anyone expecting me to.I had a book open, but I didn’t read it, because I didn’t have to. I think I might have scared some people, but I literally did not care. I had found my zen. I was at peace.

Can I ask you a 500 year old question? It’s a question from a document that has defined the direction of protestant Christianity since it was written down in 1563, in a document called the Heidelberg Catechism? What is your biggest comfort in life and death?

To put it another way: where is your safe space? Where is your refuge? Where do you find peace?

Maybe it’s binging on Brooklyn 99, or “detoxing” with Yorkshire tea

Maybe it’s Fettle café, or gigs at the Brudenell

How do you find and hold on to your peace of mind?

What’s your route to wellness?

For me, comfort and peace of mind is 20th December.But the problem for me this year, sitting in Caravan Fitzrovia, is that I kept getting sudden chest pains. Since birth, I’ve had a condition called Aortic Stenosis ─ essentially, my aortic valve, the valve that keeps blood going from my heart to my body; it’s a hot mess. It is absolutely not pulling its weight, and as a result my heart has to work over time. When I’m sitting, my heart beats at about the speed of a normal person when they’re running.

If I had been born 20 years earlier, I would have died aged 7.

But the NHS has done such a good job of pioneering heart surgery and care, that they’ve now had to set up a new clinic called “Grown Up Congenital Heart”, for people like me who used to die as children, but now need to keep being looked after as adults. That said, I guess the likelihood is that the thing that will kill me is that my heart will give up. It won’t happen for ages. I’m expecting to live pretty much a full life because the NHS are amazing.

But here’s what that’s meant for me: I’ve known since childhood that I cannot find peace in myself. I need help from the outside. Sitting in Caravan Coffee Shop, my wellbeing could not depend on me. I could not find peace of mind in myself. I might have liked to ignore the problem, and look inside for my inner zen; but bluntly: doing that could kill me. As it was, I rang up a specialist help-line, was on the phone to a heart expert within 40 minutes.But it reminded me of something that I’ve known since childhood: I cannot find wellbeing alone. I cannot get well without help.

I imagine that most of my friends in London, if they were to answer that 500 year old question, would say something like this: What is my only comfort in life and in death? That I am my own. That I belong ─ body and soul ─ to myself, and I can take whatever life throws at me.

Is that how you would answer it?

Does your peace of mind ultimately depend on you?

And your ability to take whatever life throws at you?

If it does, will you let me gently but firmly deconstruct that foundation for you?

Because my concern is that looking for your inner zen could kill you.

Problem: if your peace of mind depends on you, it will fail you at the very moment you need it most.

I used to think that peace of mind was a fragile thing. I used to think you had to handle peace with care. Don’t overthink it or it will scurry off. Keep it away from your doubts or it might get offended. Don’t let it read the news. Don’t let it know about Science. Don’t talk about it in public, and definitely don’t ask it too many questions—peace is the sort of substance that will evaporate on contact with question marks and facts.

You know those magic-eye optical illusions that you pretended you could do at school? Where there would be a tonne of random colours and shapes that looked like sicked up tangfastics? And then you’d look slightly past it, while crossing your eyes, and suddenly you’d see a spaceship flying out of the page, (or if you’re like me, pretend to see a spaceship flying out of the page?) That. That’s what I thought peace was like. It’s there, maybe, but only if you can turn off your inner cynic and go slightly cross-eyed. The rest of the time you just have to lie: “Oh yeah, 3-D hope for the future… good, isn’t it?”

I don’t think that anymore, and here’s the first reason why: if your “peace” can’t cope with the real world, then I’m pretty sure the word “peace” is meaningless. Or at least, I don’t think I know what the word “peace” means anymore. If the only way to find peace of mind is to carefully close your eyes to the stark realities of life as it is, then living with peace is just a pretty way of saying you’re living in denial, you’re living with your eyes closed. If having peace essentially just means carefully preserving your delicate ignorance, we should start saying what we really mean.

Here’s the other reason: if you can’t stamp on your peace of mind then it is useless to you. Actually I want to say it stronger than that: if you can’t stamp on your peace of mind then it is worse than useless to you. If you can’t throw your full weight against your peace of mind without it breaking then it will fail you in the very moment you need them most, when your life is in free-fall. You’ll be sitting at your dining room table, your phone will vibrate twice, and then you’ll be lying in a puddle of tears. Peace that can’t deal with your questions will never be able to cope with your tears, because you can’t do magic-eye while you’re ugly crying.

Closing my eyes won’t keep my heart beating, or comfort me when I get chest pains.

If your peace of mind is something you have to handle with care, it will not be able to take care of you. And if all it does is sap your energy only to fail you when you need it most, why are you bothering with it in the first place? If your peace of mind depends on you, it will fail you at the moment you need it most.

So can I extend what might sound like a slightly strange invitation to you?

Invitation: I want to invite you to stamp on your peace of mind. If it cracks, it is worthless to you.

Can your peace of mind deal with everything that this world has to throw at you?

Can it handle your cynicism and doubts as well as your optimism?

Can it handle your bank balance and your ugly tears?

Could it deal with the possibility of rejection, or unemployment, or family breakdown?

Could it deal with heart failure or mental ill-health, or worse?

Can it deal with the worst that life has to throw at you?

Respectfully, if you’re not sure, you’d better find out soon. Because as some of you in this room will know all too well, if it isn’t, then you’ll find that out when it’s too late.

Imagine a possibility: what if there was a peace that was stronger than you?

What if there was a peace that could pick you up when you were broken. Imagine a peace that didn’t need you to be strong for it to work. Imagine if you could have a peace that could take the worst that life has to throw at you.

That is what Jesus offers us in Mark 15v33–39. What we find in this passage is a comfort and peace that is stronger than you. A peace that doesn’t depend on you. It’s the peace of Jesus: a refuge that is far better than closing your eyes. Here’s how you can be confident of the peace and refuge offered by Jesus: he took on the worst thing that life could throw at you, and he did it in your place so that you could have peace with God.

What’s the worst problem we could possibly face? Being cut off from the God who made us.

It’s a problem of our own making: we are all guests of God’s reality, but we’ve lived our lives as though he isn’t there. It’s what Christians call sin. If I can put it like this, sin is the ultimate cultural appropriation. Cultural appropriation is when you seize what someone else has made, empty it if its meaning and use if for our own purposes in a dominating way.

Isn’t that how we’ve treated the creator of this world?

We’ve entered this world and acted like it was ours for the taking, to do with what we want, without a thought for who might already be here; or who might have made it and why. Human beings have taken what God made, emptied if of meaning, and used it for our own selfish purposes without acknowledging him. We’ve taken the universe and used it for our own selfish purposes, rather than treating the world with the holy dignity it was made for. The technical term for that is abuse.

Each one of us is guilty of the worst sort of appropriation and abuse of the world. We’ve appropriated the universe, emptied it of the meaning and value given it by its maker and forsaken the one who made it; and there is a day coming when God won’t put up with that any more. There is a day coming, where we will be held to account for the ways we have lived our lives.

The worst problem that faces us: being abandoned by the God who made us. In fact, that’s isn’t just what might happen to us. It’s what justice demands, it’s what God must do. When you look at justice in the Bible, something quickly becomes apparent. The price that justice demands is proportional to the dignity of the thing that has been mistreated.

      • Abuse someone’s property, and that’s bad.
      • Abuse an animal, that’s worse.
      • Abuse a human being and it is unspeakably abhorrent.

So think about this: what does justice demand from those of us who have mistreated the God of heaven and earth? Now open up Mark 15, and look with me at the peace that Jesus offers to humanity.

Jesus was stamped on for you.

My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?

Jesus endured abandonment from God so that you could have peace instead. The words that should roll off our lips forever, came from Jesus’ mouth instead of mine. Jesus took the justice I deserved, so that I could have his peace forever. That is a peace that can withstand the worst that life has to throw at me.

Let me explain why.

If the Bible is to be believed, one day I am going to stand before the God of Heaven and Earth and be asked to give an account for how I lived my life. How I used my time. How I used my money. How I treated the people around me. And how I treated God. Why I lied to the people who loved me. Why I belittled the God who made me. Why I treated women as objects and God as a nuisance.

And after I have given an account for how I have lived, God will be asked a question: What does justice demand? How much are you and everything you made really worth? And at that point I would have no right except to be diminished to nothing forever.

But because I have taken refuge in Jesus, that is not what will happen. Instead, God will point to Jerusalem, 2000 years ago, to the crucifixion of His Son Jesus Christ; the moment when Jesus willingly became a curse for me.

That is what a human being is worth. The fullest measure of justice available. And instead of sending me to the depths of hell to pay for what I have done, He will welcome me into his home as a loved child forever, because justice has already been done.The price has already been paid. Jesus death means justice can be satisfied and sinners like you and me can have peace with God forever.

Jesus endured abandonment from God so that you and me could have peace forever. Do you see how strong this peace is? This is wellbeing and peace that you don’t have to squint to find.

It is love without limit, love that was there for you in the depth of you darkness, love that was there when you needed it most.

Jesus is strong enough for your messes as well as your successes; for your ugly tears as well as your smiles.

He is a refuge for sinners; he is there when you can’t cope as well as when you can.

You can have absolute peace of mind, right now and forever, because of the lengths and depths that Jesus went to love you.

He endured hell for you. He died the death we should have died so that we could live the life that only he deserved to live. Jesus did not give up under the full scorn of earth, the full fury of hell, and the utmost justice of heaven. He did not give up until he had paid it all for you.

What heights of love, what depths of peace…

Jesus was stamped on so you could have peace with God.

So, an invitation: will you find peace in Jesus?

Can I invite you to put all your hope in Jesus, again or for the first time, as you read this? Can I invite you to find peace by taking refuge in him?

Let me refer back to that 500 year old question that I mentioned earlier, because they actually put the question more strongly than I let on. Here was the question they actually wrote:What is your only comfort in life and death?

Can I be honest? If our answer to that question is “I can take whatever life throws at me”, we are kidding ourselves. We can barely cope with staying at home for a week, let alone the judgement of God.

Here’s the reply that Christians wrote under that question 500 years ago, summarising beliefs that Christians have held for millenia:

Q. What is your only comfort in life and in death?

“A. That I am not my own,

but belong—body and soul,

in life and in death—to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ.

Can I speak from personal experience and say: that is the sort of peace that not even the threat of heart failure can rob me of. That is a refuge that can take the worst that life has got. Jesus went to hell to offer me peace with God. My heart may fail, but my Jesus will never fail me.

The answer continues:

Jesus has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood.

and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil.

He also watches over me in such a way

that not a hair can fall from my head

without the will of my Father in heaven;

in fact, all things must work together for my salvation.

I still have a heart condition. But I also have peace with God, and I don’t have to shut my eyes to the reality of this world to find it. My confidence is not in anything that this world can give me. It’s that one day, when justice is finally done, I will be with Jesus forever: the one who loved me to hell and back.

Can I invite you into that peace? Taking refuge in Jesus is only ever a prayer away.

You might find these two prayers helpful:

Lord Jesus, I know that I cannot find peace in myself. I want to take refuge in you. I’m sorry for ignoring you in the way I have lived in your world. Thank you for paying the price my sin deserved on the cross. I want to follow you now and forever. I am no longer my own, instead I give you everything; because you gave your everything for me. Amen.

ALMIGHTY and most merciful Father, We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep, We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts, We have offended against thy holy laws, We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, And we have done those things which we ought not to have done, And there is no health in us: But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us miserable offenders; Spare thou them, O God, which confess their faults, Restore thou them that are penitent, According to thy promises declared unto mankind in Christ Jesu our Lord: And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake, That we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, To the glory of thy holy Name. Amen.


You are likely reading this at the time of the COVID-19 Pandemic. IVP has taken 50% off the price of our eBooks, and is as committed as ever to helping Christians dig deeper into the Bible. Our books and resources are all still availalbe. Below we've highlighted a few more that might be timely for you or your loved ones. You might also like Ollie's recent blog post on Isaiah.


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